Sunday, March 9, 2008

Dillema of a first-time mom...

"Yati ni dah gemuk la....kena exercise sikit....Ni baru anak sorang",
that's what my mum always say everytime we see each other...huhuhuh...

I stare into the mirror and frown slightly while tracing the curves of my new body shape.

"Abang, do you think i'm fat?"
My husband answers in careful trepidation
"Hmm...takdelaa...Biase je..."
"Tipu laa..."
"Iya...Masih cantik...Abang sayang Yati"
I smile a bit because his answers is SOOOO rehearsed, so careful and EXACTLY what i needed to hear.

"Tapi tengok laa ni....banyak stretch marks...not to mention ..the sagging ***** , and look at my flabby tummy...."
"Dah exercise pun still ada nampak lagi"..."Maybe due to the C-section" ....
(hmm..ayat untuk pujuk diri sendiri)....wawawawa

"Alaaa...takpelaa..janji isteri dan anak abang sihat....cukupla untuk abang"

I raise one eyebrow at him...
Then , i turn around to the girl who is responsible for making me feel so insecure about my physical looks...
However, her grin, goo-goos and ga-gas makes me stop short of being cross with her..

I pick up my jeans and turn to look at my expanded posterior.
I fold it back, and put on my track-suits...
I am not a fashion guru, but i do know the rule of thumb which is ....
FLAUNT THE GOOD, and HIDE THE BAD.

Nowadays, it is just plain t-shirts and tracksuits...to markets, groceries shop, playground...etc..I've been wearing it ever since she was born..

So, the truth was, the reliable sportswear were comfortable and hid my flaws, my insecurities.

At the corner of my eye, i can still see my protruding tummy and feel slightly discomfort on wearing any clothes that can show my new body shape.

Then, the little one comes crawling and buries her head on my chests as if to comfort me, and my husband who was watching us at the time said...
"Ala...manja and comelnya 2 puteri ayah ni"....
"Cantik anak ayah ni..macam Ibu dia.."...

Feeling the tenderness in the air.... I just feel blessed for having her in my life...and a husband who is still the same caring and loving person i've known,
And this time around...I believe him...
(No matter how you look, or how you've changed...Being a mother is always beautiful)...

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